hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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