she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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