your room smells of hookers.
And success
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
