Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
