why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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