ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
