You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Randomize
