so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
