I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
