YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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