Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
