just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Randomize
