On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
