Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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