she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
