EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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