also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I've blown a few things in my day
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
