fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you would pick up someone in the library
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
