Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
