You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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