Do you still have your period?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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