Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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