I'm passing your future prison.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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