we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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