I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
