how can u be prego again
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
