508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
