yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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