I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
