I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
