I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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