i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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