dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
