I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
