My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
