.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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