got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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