Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
