his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
