dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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