apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
