then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
i now understand why vodka
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
