I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
bring money and cleavage
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
