yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
