So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
