The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
