Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
