At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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