didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
