Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
