paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
