Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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