You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
The uberlube is also flammable
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
